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ESPN's Around the Horn Thoughts
To pen an engaging column, a writer must formulate a clear and intriguing opinion and surround this idea with insight and fact to make the argument plausible.
Jay Mariotti, Woody Paige, J.A. Adande and Bob Ryan, four accomplished sports columnists, don’t need to be reminded about these basics of journalism.
Except on weekdays at 5:00 p.m.
During the 30-minute television show “Around the Horn,” each member of quartet slips into a half-hour of amnesia, choosing to forget their writing experience in order to massage their egos under the lights of a video camera.
The show features the four personalities competing in what host Tony Reali calls “the sport of competitive banter.” While the definition of this “sport” remains unclear, it soon becomes clear to the viewer how a winner will be chosen: it all depends on which panelist can raise his voice the loudest and move his lips the fastest.
If you’re looking for well-thought out arguments and expert analysis, well you’re just on the wrong television program.
“Come on, Syracuse! Aren’t people impressed by what they did!” yells Mariotti when explaining his pick of the Orangemen to come out of the South Bracket in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament.
The Chicago-based columnist isn’t able to expand on why North Carolina and Oklahoma won’t make it, other than a brief mention of Ty Lawson’s toe and a quick reference to Blake Griffin’s concussion.
Why such shallow analysis? It’s not just the columnists’ fault. There are simply too many personalities and too many sports topics to cover in just more than 22 minutes of show.
The columnists’ egos constantly bump into each other during the free-for-all, as each one feels as though he has to get in as much television time as possible, eventually leading to yelling and raised voices.
Reali liberally uses a “mute” button in order to restore some semblance of order, but a migraine still slowly formed in my head at the repeating sound of four arguments bleeding into one.
If the producers of the program cut down the number of personalities to three, then viewers may actually get more information from these personalities than what can be gleaned off the headlines of any major sports news Web site.
During the course of this jabbering of talking heads, Reali awards points based of the strength of a panelist’s argument. After five minutes watching the program, however, it becomes clear that the point system really is based solely on how loud and how long a panelist talks.
In one debate, Adande calmly talks about the phenomenal guard play of Memphis’ Tyreke Evans and the strength of the Tigers’ No. 1 ranked defense.
He receives two points for his argument.
“They have not lost a game, not one game since they moved Tyreke to point guard!” Paige then exclaims, essentially repeating Adande’s point.
He receives three points just for that outburst, however, and rambles his way to five more points with similar shouts.
The goal of the show, appropriately, is coined “Face Time,” a 30-second period in which the columnist with the most points of the end of the show gets to hear himself talk. It’s easily the best part of the show for the viewer – there’s no more free-for-all, just the calm after the storm.
If you’re into hearing a bunch of grown men argue like children about sports issues, “Around the Horn” is for you.
But if you really want to experience a compelling argument, you’re probably better off just reading the written columns of the four panelists, penned during the 23-and-a-half hours they’re journalists.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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